ohmygodiamgettingfat!

I am getting fat.

It's not just that I look fleshier, but I feel it. I feel fat, heavy, big. When I sit down I feel like my butt is all over the place.

I blame it all on the past elections. Haha. Really, I started gaining weight last summer, during the campaign. I just ate. And ate some more. We were holed up in this secret headquarters (our Batcave). We couldn't tell anybody where we were or what we were doing. Nobody knew, except the 30 people in that compact office. We were among ourselves, and apart from work, there was really nothing else but the tv, gossip, text twister and a supermarket around the corner. That's where we went when we wanted to escape the sheer insanity of the campaign and the monotony of a few uneventful afternoons. Food was basically our pastime (smoking, too, but I don't do that). I survived on chips, chocolate, Coke, Yellow Cab, Pizza Hut, 'Di Mark's, Kitaro (mmm, California maki), mais and squidballs, ensaymada, Dunkin Donuts and the ocassional beer, tequila and vodka ice.

And then there were the sorties. Ohmygod. Chowking's siopao (bola-bola) was a staple during the motorcades (it was difficult to break away from the convoy so we had little choice). The advance team kept on throwing siopao and Coke onto the moving van. What else were we to do but eat them? And when got so sick of the sioapao, we would survey the roads we were on and run to the nearest Andok's, buy lechon manok (two whole chickens, chopped of course), run back to the van (we were experts at running and traffic management because of all the motorcades), and eat. With bare hands. Gravy and all.

It was hilarious. And probably uncouth. But it got us through the day. And then, after each sortie, we would be soo exhausted the only thing we wanted to do was sit down, rest, and eat a good meal to relax our spirits and celebrate another successful day.

This went on for the entire summer. And now, months later, I still can't get out of the habit.

Okay, I don't run out of the car and buy Andok's lechon anymore. But I eat. I eat, and I eat a lot. It actually surprises people. It surpises me. I never thought my stomach had the capacity to store so much. And, dear God, I think of food. Something I never really did before.

I guess it's also because I stay home a lot now. I sleep a lot, stay in bed most of the time, munch on whatever food I find. I watch tv, which means a whole lot of cooking programs on the Lifestyle Network (love Molto Mario and Unwrapped).

Eat. Sleep. Go to the kitchen. Eat. Sleep.

The result? I no longer have a flat tummy (I didn't have "abs" but it was pretty darn flat). My hips are soo friggin wide I almost can't fit into my jeans. People say it's okay, at least I've developed "shape". Easy for them to say. I've always been slender, and I liked it that way goddamit.

Aaarrrggh! I'm so paranoid now, I feel like my tummy's getting more bloated everyday. Not that the paranoia changes anything. At midnight I still get the urge to go open the fridge, and my tita looks at me in amazement everytime I ask her if there's anything else to eat, 20 minutes after we've had lunch or dinner.

Shit, somebody help me!